I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
