Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Randomize
