Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
