i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
