Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
