well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
