dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i now understand why vodka
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
