i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize