I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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