I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
