yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Randomize
