is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
