She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
