Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Randomize
