Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
