I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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