2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
