im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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