bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
