The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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