do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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