Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
