Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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