Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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