FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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