when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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