last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
