I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
