Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I've blown a few things in my day
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
