he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
