At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
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