This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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