remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
