So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
