A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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