Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize