You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
