fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
