whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
