just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
it glows. i had to have it.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
