She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My vagina is very pro this idea
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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