I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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