handjob tips. give me some.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
