He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
