hotel room ftw
I didn't shave. On purpose
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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