im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
