The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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