why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
