She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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