you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
