Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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